Help! My kid Is On Drug                        What To Do?

Don't panic!  And don't blame yourself.  The important thing right now is to stay calm, find out what's going on , and get whatever help you need to stop it.  Drug use is a preventable behavior.  drug addiction is a treatable disease.  And like many other diseases, the sooner it's detected and faced, the sooner a sick person can begin to get well.

What to look for

Young people use drugs for many reasons that have to do with how they feel about themselves, how they get along with others, and how they live.  No one factor determines who will not, but here are some thing to watch for:

• Low grades or poor school performance;
• Aggressive, rebellious behavior;
• Excessive influence by peers;
• Lack of parental support and guidance; and
• Behavior problems at an early age.

Being alert to the signs of alcohol and other drug use requires a keen eye.  It is sometimes hard to know the difference between normal teenage behavior and behavior caused by drugs.  Changes in hairstyle, dress, slang use, and so on may throw you off kilter - but they are normal for adolescents who are trying to figure out who they are.  On the other hand, changes that are extreme or that last for more than a few days may signal drug use.

Consider the following questions:

• Does your child seem withdrawn, depressed, tired, and careless about personal grooming?
• Has your child become hostile and uncooperative?
• Have your child's relationships with other family members deteriorated?
• Has your child dropped his old friends?
• Has your child lost interest in his or her appearance and has personal hygiene deteriorated?
• Has your child lost interest in hobbies, sports and other favorite activities?
• Have your child's eating or sleeping patterns changed?

What to Do

Positive answers to the questions above may indicate alcohol or other drug use.  However, these signs may also apply to a child who is not using drugs but who may be having other problems at school or in the family.  When in doubt, get help.  Have your family doctor or local clinic examine your child to rule out illness or other physical problems.

Watch for signs of drugs and drug paraphernalia as well.  Possession of common items such as pipes, rolling papers, small medicine bottles, eye drops, or butane lighters may signal that your child is using drugs.

Even when the signs are obvious, usually after the child has been using drugs for a time, parents sometimes do not want to admit that their child could have a problem.  Anger, resentment, guilt, and a sense of failure as a parent are common reactions.

If your child is using drugs, it is important to avoid blaming yourself for the problem and to get whatever help is needed to stop your child's use.  If you face the problem promptly, there's a good chance your child can be helped.

Never confront a child who is under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.  Wait until he or she is sober.  Then discuss your suspicions with your child calmly and objectively.  It's not easy.  Take a walk around the block first it you need to calm down.  Bring in other members of the family to help, if necessary.

Discuss drug use with your children and establish family rules.  It is extremely important to establish a clear "no drugs" mandate and to make sure it's communicated clearly to your children. 

Impose whatever course of discipline your family has decided on for violating the rules and stick to it.  Don't relent because your child promises never to do it again.

Many young people lie about their alcohol and other drug use.  (Just like many adults.) If you think your child is not being truthful and the evidence is pretty strong, you may wish to have your child evaluated by a health professional experienced in diagnosing adolescents with alcohol-and drug-related problems.  If you decide to go this route, remember that you're trying to help your child.  Don't make a visit to the doctor seem like a threat or a punishment.

If your child has developed a pattern of drug use or has engaged in heavy use, you will probably need help to intervene.  If you do not know about drug treatment programs in your area, call your doctor, local hospital, state or local substance abuse agencies, or county mental health society for a referral.  Your school district should have a substance abuse coordinator or a counselor who can refer you to treatment programs, too.  Parents whose children have been through treatment programs can also provide information.  Not only that, they'll help you deal with the feeling and get you through the process with your sanity intact.

If these signs tell you that your child has a drug problem, consider getting professional help from a qualified therapist or a local substance abuse agency.

More Information And Resources On Prevention/Treatment

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Acknowledgment: This page was adapted by Alonso Lopez from the original Keeping Youth Drug-Free.  U.S. Department of Health And Human Services DHHS.